A Journey Through Ephesians… 5:21-33

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 

Oh gosh, I want to confess, I kind of dreaded this one. If ever verses had potential to strike a nerve or cause a response, it might be these.

Friends, I know that marriage can be hard. I mean, two completely imperfect people coming together to create a happy life has incredible possibility for utter disaster. And here comes Paul throwing out words like… Submission, give up your life, without fault, head of the wife, joined, reverence, subject, respect. I get it… these are very charged terms and are even more difficult when marriage is charged!

So. Let’s rewind a bit and remember what Paul has said up to now. I mean, we are basically Ephesians scholars at this point, right!? LOL…..

If I had to give a two sentence summary of my take-aways from this letter so far I would say…. Paul is encouraging us to stay united as ONE body and gives us tools and practices to remain this way. The PURPOSE in all of this was to use the church to display his wisdom to all the unseen rulers in the heavenly places AND make His plea to nonbelievers – so ALL will come to know Him.

So.

What better stomping ground for the devil himself to TRY and trample than the MARRIAGE itself …. THE picture of Christ and His bride.

Do you see it now? Husbands and wives… we have a big role to play here and UNITY within the Christian home is FUNDAMENTAL to unity in the body at large.

I think we would all agree on this.

So how on earth do we do this Paul?! Two words….

Mutual submission.

If you look at verse 21, Paul is simply setting the stage for the following groups of people:

Husbands – Wives – Parents – Children – Masters – Slaves.

This passage is very fluid with the book as a whole…. Clear instruction for Christian living.

All believers are called to live in mutual submission to one another out of our LOVE and REVERENCE for Christ – and it applies in a unique way to husbands and wives…..

So I dug in a little more to some of these words and honestly, a good Greek translation and Webster’s Thesaurus does WONDERS for this passage.

With the ACTUAL DEFINITIONS of the words Paul uses in this passage, I did a little paraphrasing so it makes a little more sense – to me anyway. Give it a slow read and see how this feels.

Wives, let us deeply care for our man, edify him, build him up, encourage him and have an attitude of deep appreciation for who he is in Christ.

Husbands, nourish your wife, support her growth, cherish and warmly care for her. Attend to her needs. Think of her first and often.

Both of you…. create a loving environment that brings you both to your fullest potential of maturity in Christ. Let your love for one another be a sweet mirror of Christ’s love for you.

Mmmmm. Now, I like this. And behind some of the “heavier words”, this is what you will find. I think our culture has brought so many different connotations to Paul’s language (and honestly misused it) that some believers want to throw the whole thing out the door!

Let’s resist that urge. Paul’s intention is GOOD and in alignment with his entire letter.

Note… when marriage is super difficult, I do encourage couples getting extra support, maybe through Christian counseling or the help of Godly friends, to guide them into a better place. I don’t feel equipped to write on this, but I know HEALTHY conflict resolution is KEY to maintaining a mutually submitted environment. Asking for help is NOT weakness, it is actually really brave and strong. But being the child of a divorced home, I also know that Biblical grounds for parting ways is a very real thing… and sometimes THE way of maintaining unity in the Body. I don’t want to overlook this.

I pray this has been encouraging today. Let me offer a prayer using some of the definitions and language above. Love to all of you. I am forever humbled you are still with me – Five chapters deep.

Father, I praise you this morning for the institution of marriage. What a beautiful picture of your love and intimacy towards us. Father, I pray that husbands and wives reading this would have a desire to create a loving environment in their homes. May we all desire to bring our spouse to his or her fullest potential of maturity in their relationship with You. Let us love one another, and be a sweet picture of Your love for us, Jesus. Wives, I pray we would care deeply for husbands, building him up and encouraging him every day. Lord, deepen our appreciation for him – seeing him as a reflection of YOUR image. And I pray for all husbands… I pray they would nourish and support their beautiful bride, warmly caring for her and attending to her needs. God help them think about her and love her first and often. Jesus, we need you for this. We really do. Let us lay down our lives all those around us… Thank you for the gift of marriage and giving us such fertile ground to practice mutual submission – every single day. In Jesus Name, amen.