A Journey Through Ephesians… 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise:If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4

OK Christian parents, how many times have we quoted this one?! About a trillion?

When the boys were little, the “downstairs bathroom” was where most of our discipline conversations happened. Classic scenario: boy offends brother, I hear a squeal, sometimes a slap… I call upstairs to the offender “________! Please meet me in the bathroom!”

I walk in with my gigantic study Bible to find a sad-faced little Crenshaw. I would sit on the toilet (lid down), make eye contact and start – reminding him how we don’t: hit – snatch toys- act selfishly – call names – bite – etc – etc…. we obey mommy and daddy and when we do, all goes well with them. This the first commandment with a promise!” I’d open my ESV and look up Ephesians 6:1-4 and Deuteronomy 5:16 – pointing to words he couldn’t yet read. We would give big hugs and I’d suggest language for apologies. Deep breath and back to business as usual.

On repeat for more than a decade.

But believe it or not, Paul didn’t add these four verses for the Crenshaw’s downstairs bathroom.

I know. Shocker.

It is ACTUALLY an additional illustration of how MUTUAL SUBMISSION plays out in a different relationship. Children and parents.

Maybe you read that and think – wait. MUTUAL submission? Aren’t we talking about offspring? Little children and adults?

Yes. And Paul does not let parents off the hook. Both parties, in every relationship mentioned in Chapters 5-6, have a responsibility to show the love of Christ to one another.

Fathers, patēr translated in the Greek, is defined as paternal father but it also is defined as “one who stands in a father’s place and looks after another in a paternal way.”

So mama, nana, papaw, aunt, uncle, caregiver….. we are not left out here. This is for us 100%…..

When Paul says, “Father don’t provoke your children”, the word provoke means “to rouse to wrath, exaggerate or anger.” Sooooo in that millisecond of disobedience we have a choice – AND THIS HAPPENS FAST – do I respond in my flesh or as Christ.

This practice takes PRACTICE. And lots of it.

This millisecond is not easy.

My counselor told me, not too long ago, that the best place to practice reaction vs. response is in traffic. Isn’t that the best?! She said we have all sorts opportunity behind the wheel to yield to the Spirit of God and resist our flesh response – to act in kindness towards bad drivers (I mean other drivers) even though the they will NEVER know your inner dilemma on I-40.

Victor Frankl, whose writing about stimulus/response makes me feel as if he is peering into my soul, wrote “between stimulus and response is a space. And in that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

So often when I receive a stimulus I react IMMEDIATELY without pausing in that potential space to think about HOW I would like to respond. Paul encourages all of us patērs to notice, understand and then CONTROL our conduct in that space. And oh, how I need the power of the Holy Spirit to respond as Christ.

Even though our littles are, well, little, we have a responsibly to mirror the love of the Father, even in discipline.

Especially in discipline.

Because behind every moment of discipline is Gospel opportunity to explain sin – repentance – confession and restoration.

Paul’s encouragement in Ephesians 4:2-3 would be fitting to tuck in here…. “Fathers, Mothers, Papaws, Nana’s, babysitter, etc, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Always being humble, patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love. Keeping yourselves united in the spirit, binding yourselves united with peace.“

Even in the moments we are instructing our children, the Lord is instructing us. Childrearing offers opportunities for us to practice stimulus/response, rely on the Holy Spirit and share the Gospel of Jesus. So whether it is your downstairs bathroom or a messy minivan at the Chick-fil-a drive through, we just might be standing on Holy Ground.

Love to you all….xoxo